


while i die

by aftokrateira



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bittersweet, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Ex Sex, F/M, Female Eren Yeager, M/M, Modern Era, Song: Heather (Conan Gray)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29827188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aftokrateira/pseuds/aftokrateira
Summary: After a bad breakup, Reiner goes back to his hometown to heal his heart and start over. He has an encounter with someone from his past and some old feelings start to appear again. Will he be able to find happiness at home? Or the memories from his ex will drag him back to his past?
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager, Reiner Braun/Porco Galliard
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. sweater

**Author's Note:**

> is this bitch really going to write another goddamn fanfic?  
> well yes i am, this will be shorter tho, thanks to a post i saw on a facebook group about a love triangle between these 3 twats. special thanks to Brendis Ap for the general idea for this fanfic.  
> i hope you like it.  
> (yes, i'll be updating the other fics i have. maybe.)

He walked out the bus, deeply inhaling. It was really cold but in that town it was always cold. And it felt comforting in a way that almost made him tear up. A sudden wave of nostalgia went trough his body while he walked into the bus station. He could recognize everything and notice the little change that placed had over the years. It was almost like he'd never left. He took out his phone, dialing a familiar number.

—Hey, mom —he said, standing just outside the station, looking for an available taxi —. Yeah, I just got here...It's fine, I'll be there in twenty minutes —he paused, smiling. He was so happy to hear his mother once again —It's good to be back.

**

Everything looked delicious. When was the last time he ate food like this? Erin wasn't much of a cooker and she preferred to buy food or to go out and eat. She was so picky and he thought that surely enough she would be separating the peas from the puree...No. He forced himself to stop thinking about her. It was over, she messed up, that's why he was there in the first place. He took another bite of the pork chop and it was so good it washed off the bitter taste of his mouth.

—I'm so happy that you're back, sweetie! —his mother said. She hadn't stop crying from the moment he stepped inside the house. He couldn't blame her. They've been separated for almost three years —Gabi will be back soon...Oh, she's going to be so happy to see you! She thinks that you were going to be here until tomorrow, so it'll be a nice surprise for your sister.

—I'm pretty sure she's not going to be that happy...—he mumbled. He thought about the look in his sister's eyes when he announced he was going to move out for a while for college. She didn't even wanted to say goodbye.

—Don't say that —his mother laughed a little —Don't tell her I said this, but the truth is that she's been counting the days to see you again. She missed you so bad...

He didn't know how to feel about that. He knew that his decisions caused some unpleasant reactions from his family, especially when they found out that he'd taken them because of Erin's advises. He was really worried that they would hate him because he left and that they wouldn't let him come back home. But, up until now, nobody seemed angry or uncomfortable.

—I must say that she was not happy to change rooms again —his mother laughed again —. But in the end she helped me the most to move things around and she was actually very eager to clean the whole house just for you. She even told me what to cook for you, you know?

—I'll go upstairs to unpack —he said, feeling a little awkward. He didn't deserved that kind of attentions, not after what he did —Do you need help with the dishes or the kitchen? —his mother shook her head, walking towards him to caress his cheek.

—You're so tall... And so different. You're even growing a beard! —she hugged him again —. It's okay, honey. Go to you room and rest a little. It sure was a long trip. I'll let you know when the dinner's ready.

**

He laid down on his old bed barely fitting in. He looked that the ceiling and noticed some glow-in-the-dark stars glued there, probably a remaining decoration that Gabi forgot to take out. His room was almost exactly the same, just like everything else. He had changed since the last time he was in that room. His trophies and comics were still on top of the drawers, aligned and stacked in perfect order as they never were before. The cork board on the wall still had some stickers glued to it, along with some pictures with his old friends from high school. A few letters and notes, movie tickets... a very old and rare drawing from Gabi from when she was a toddler. His old life was posted there, bringing him back all of his memories, his happy memories.

Why did he left in the first place?

A pair of teal eyes sparkled in his mind and he shook his head.

No. That wasn't the answer he wanted. It was a shitty answer. He closed his eyes and tried to find comfort in his present. He was home, with his family. He could heal there, regain his trust. Go out whit his friends and enjoy himself for the first time in three years. There would be no more poisoned words or raging glares. No more lies and loneliness. Only home cooked meals and a regular life in his hometown.

These thoughts were enough to relax him, allowing him to fall asleep...

—You're back! —he opened his eyes when he felt a sudden weight landing on him. He looked around, scared — Why didn't you told me you were coming home earlier?! —Gabi's face was covered in tears that she dried on his shirt when she hugged him again, almost suffocating him —. You're such an asshole! Oh my God!

She was taller and her cheeks had almost lost all of their childish roundness. There wasn't much of a kid in her anymore. He looked at Gabi for a few seconds before hugging her back. He even raised her from the floor. She laughed and he remembered of the times they used to play together and how she would laugh despite pretending to be mad at him.

—Hello, Gabs —he said when he placed her on the ground —I hope you're not mad that I came back earlier.

—Of course not, dumbass! —she exclaimed —Well... maybe just a little.

—Seriously?

—I spent a lot of time making plans! You can't just show up unannounced and ruin them! I forbid it —she folded her arms —. You'll wait for it until tomorrow, okay? And you better be impressed and surprised!

—So it's a surprise? —Gabi smiled and then raised her eyebrows, pretending to have a zipper on her mouth. He smiled and laughed a little —Fine. I'll wait locked here, okay?

—That's a good boy —she patted him on the arm —You can come downstairs tho, dinner's ready.

**

Gabi wasn't lying when she told him that she forbid him to mess up her plans. Even his mother was his accomplice, keeping him in his room for as long as his little sister demanded. It wasn't until noon when Gabi finally came into his room to cover his eyes with an old tie and guide him downstairs. He could her her enthusiasm in her voice and little squeals.

—Okay, you ready? —she said —You can see now!

He took off the tie and saw his mother and sister along with his old friends from high school. Everyone was there: Annie, Bert, Pieck, Marcell... And Marcell's brother. Porco.

—Welcome home! —they greeted with a smile on their faces.

Reiner stood there, just as surprised as Gabi planned, receiving hugs and friendly smiles all over the place.

He was home.


	2. Chapter 2

He woke up, sweating, heavy breathing and with his heart beating loud and fast. He looked around and it took a second to know where he was and that it had been only a nightmare. He sat on the bed, letting out a heavy sigh. It wouldn't be so easy to try to get better. Going back wasn't enough. She was still deeply rooted inside of him, as if her memory was like a vine mixing with his veins and thoughts. He could only recall her face in his dream. Her beautiful face, begging him not to go with tears in her eyes. He took his phone and unlocked it. He had the urge to text her and tell her where he was, that he missed her. That he was wrong. He inhaled deeply, trying to get those thoughts away. She was the one who messed up. He thought about she cried when he left but she also screamed and hit him. She threw portraits at him and told him that she was going to kill herself. She called him a coward and a piece of shit for running away.

He went to te kitchen to grab a glass of water. Everything was dark, silent and he found it calming and comforting, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. He went back upstairs to change clothes and went back down to get out. Maybe walking outside would help him to relax enough to go back to sleep. He sneaked out as quietly as he could and once outside he took a deep breath in of the cold night air. There were still traces of winter here and there, but spring was close. He was glad that he was back to see everything bloom again. It was kind of metaphorical too. There were still traces of her but eventually he would heal from them and those would disappear. He just had to be patient.

Grovel cracked under his feet as he walked down the street. One of the things he loved about his home was that you could get anywhere by walking. No need to get in a bus or a car. You could only walk for a few minutes to get anywhere. The only reason to jump into a bus was to go away.

—Reiner? —he turned around, looking for the owner of that familiar voice only to see him jump down from the fence of his home. Was he really that far? —What are you doing out so late?

—I could ask the same thing, Porco —he said, putting his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie. Reiner shrugged —. I can't sleep.

—Me either —Porco pursed his lips when he stood in front of him and Reiner could feel the awkwardness. The last time he'd seen him, Porco was a little bit taller and also, a little shit to him —Maybe because of the time zone? —he asked.

—Maybe —they both kept silence for a few seconds —Uhm...

—Hey, uh... I didn't had the chance to talk to you earlier —Porco said and he seemed a little nervous. Uncomfortable. Reiner thought about those times where Marcell forced him to say he was sorry every time he messed with him —. I... just wanted to say that I'm glad you're back. And I hope that...well... we can be friends. Like, really friends, not like when we were dumb teenagers.

—Yeah, sure —Reiner smiled a little.

—I'm sorry for that.

—It's okay, Porco, it was a long time ago-

—No, I'm really sorry —he said, interrupting him, looking at him dead in the eye —. I wasn't in the best place with myself and I just... Took it out on you. I know it's dumb that I'm apologizing but I really felt like shit. You were a really good friend and I'd like us to be friends again... now that you're back.

—Don't worry about it —Reiner patted him on the arm, in an attempt to be friendly. He felt a little weird, being in a place where someone asked him for forgiveness and not the other way around. It made him feel awkward —. I came here for a fresh start, so I guess we can give it another shot. Besides, I don't think you can push me around anymore or make me eat sand at the playground.

Porco smiled, relieved. He looked at him up and down and shrugged.

—I don't know, maybe if I try I bet I can make you eat a fistful or two of sand.

***

Fortunately enough, Porco told him about a convenience store that was recently installed in town and they both went there to buy a couple beers and sit down in the sidewalk. It was nice to talk with someone about the small things. The weather. The people in the town. Their families. Thanks to Porco, Reiner found out that Gabi was starting to hang around a little too much with Falco, a kid from her school. A new bar opened right next to a cafeteria were old people hanged out often. Some people complained about a cat plague but then just let it happen and now there were cats everywhere.

—I'm sorry things didn't work out in the city —Porco said, taking a long sip from his beer —. I know that you wanted to go there like...really bad.

—It's...okay —Reiner sighed, with a sad smile on his face —. I think it was just bound to happen. I never felt comfortable there. It was...too different —he murmured, but he wasn't being that sincere. The reality was that he kinda liked the city. It was big and new and had so many places to see. He met really cool people there, people who could've been his friends.

—I get it. I mean, I don't know if I could even leave this town. It's boring and nothing ever happens but... It's alright, I guess. Here's everything I know and love. 

Reiner was silent, not knowing what to do or say. He wanted to feel like Porco once again and he hoped he could.

—Does Zeke know that you're here? —the question took him by surprise. Right. He'd forgot about that important detail. Reiner griped his beer a little bit tighter in his hand.

—I'm pretty sure he knows by now —he bit his lip —. But he'll know for sure when we see each other, I think. 

—You were dating his sister, right? —Reiner frowned and Porco immediately knew he said something inappropriate —. Sorry, forget I asked.

—No, it's fine, don't worry —Reiner stretched out his legs, looking up at the sky. A few stars could be seen from there —I think she's her step-sister and yes, we were dating —he answered —. But we broke up. Things happen. It was kinda rough but I'm fine. I'm sure she already told him about what happened.

This time, Porco was the one giving the gentle pats on the shoulder.

—I can talk about my own boring life projects if it'll make you feel better.

—I'm all ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't you love bonding over late-nigh beers with your ex-bully

**Author's Note:**

> if i catch any of you shitting on my bby gabi i will throw hands, she's a child and must be protected.


End file.
